Ashley I Went to Jared
Bachelor Nation, you beautiful, tropical flowers,
We all know the longstanding threads that weave themselves throughout multiple seasons. Former cast members coming back to profess their love for someone they’ve never met (looking at you, Chris Bukowski), Chris Harrison showing up like a golf-playing Grim Reaper, the works. But rarely is there a moment in the Bachelor franchise, outside of a season airing, that it feels truly appropriate to say:
My friends — that time has come.
Ashley Iaconetti and Jared Haibon are dating. Officially, bonafide, put them on a Christmas card together, Facebook official, DATING.
This news rocked me to my core. To set the scene — I was innocently scrolling through Twitter, as one does, when a college friend mentioned Bachelor Nation favorite Tanner Tolbert. I nearly scrolled past because I assumed Jade was pregnant again, when my eyes settled on a name: Ashley.
I needed to investigate. And so…I clicked.
And lo and behold, what should appear, but a People Magazine article with news so clear.
As most women know, if you’re going to feel classy while reading a tabloid-adjacent rag, you pick People. If you’re looking for the down and dirty garbage at the nail salon, Life and Style’s the way to go. If it’s in People, you know it’s legit.
After three years of will they/won’t they/is she just his stalker talk via Bachelor franchise shows and podcasts, we finally have an answer. In a regular web series aptly titled, “The Story of Us,” Ashley I finally revealed her own Love Story with Jared. I mean, Jesus, I didn’t even have to try to weave in two Taylor Swift song titles into that sentence. That’s just how Swift-ie this situation is.
In the words of President Barack Obama, “They said this day would never come.” I truly thought it wouldn’t. As seen on TV, Ashley was always portrayed as the obsessed girl who couldn’t take a hint, and Jared was the too-nice-for-the-truth guy who just wouldn’t say what was on his mind. But editing is a magical thing, my friends — as you well know, it can make us believe anything (especially on The Bachelor). And sure enough, this sh*t goes down.
Ultimately, that’s what makes this so compelling. If you plop me down in front of Pride and Prejudice or 10 Things I Hate About You, I’m rooting for that classic love story to pan out every.single.time. I’m a big ol’ feminist, and I don’t think this makes me any less of one, despite the problematic nature of that classic “boy-meets-girl” story.
Maybe it’s the Royal Wedding, maybe it’s Maybelline. Who knows, but guys…I’m drinking the Kool-Aid.
Truth time — I’ve been there. I’m sure a lot of us have. My story turned out different from hers (and it was for the best), but this still tapped the last warm spot of my Grinch-y heart as soon as I consumed the content.
And if you’re not about this life and story, that’s cool too — I can’t and won’t blame you. I’m always open for debate. I will crush you in a war of words, but I’m down to verbally spar.
In conclusion, my friends, I’m saying congratulations to Ashley I and Jared. I’m honestly too tired to be cynical right now. There’s so much crap in the news these days that, regardless of any future or outcomes, this was nice to read.
But don’t worry — the sass returns as soon as Becca’s season does on May 28. I’m just momentarily elated; I didn’t have a lobotomy.
Until then.
XOXO,
Recap Girl
