Bachelor in Paradise Week 5: I Want My Baby Back

AT DAWN, WE RIDE.

John: I haven’t seen Colton and Tia for a while.

Jordan: …

John: …

Jordan: What? They left! They broke up and left!

John: They can do that?

Jordan: Yeah man, you can leave any time!

John: *looks confused*

Jordan: *seems befuddled*

John: *thinks extra hard*

Jordan: *scratches head*

John: *walks away*

Jordan: *looks to camera*

I don’t know who this dude is, but he looks like he knows how to nap.
“Did you hear what she just said?!” — this girl, probably
Same, Cary Elwes.

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Chicago comedian and pop-culture lover, especially The Bachelor. Pro-corgi. Anti-horse. On Twitter @marissasayswhat. To quote Jeb Bush, "Please clap."

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Marissa Driscoll

Marissa Driscoll

Chicago comedian and pop-culture lover, especially The Bachelor. Pro-corgi. Anti-horse. On Twitter @marissasayswhat. To quote Jeb Bush, "Please clap."

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