The Bachelorette Episode 10: Men Tell All

YOU HEARD ME, GEORGE.
  • Chris — also known as Tommy “The Screamer” from FRIENDS (second option is Eddie from FRIENDS, but I vote Ben Stiller) admits fault and apologizes for his indiscretions. NEXT!
  • Jean Blanc — confronted for saying “I love you” then leaving, he rages against Colton and attacks his virginity. And that bleeped quote that sent everyone into a tizzy? Fair warning — this is legitimately filthy. *ahem* “How are you out here calling people p*ssies when you haven’t even been in one?” When I tell you I clutched the pearls I was not wearing, LORD someone get the salts. More on that later. Moving right along.
  • Colton — confronted numerous times throughout the entire exchange by Jordan, Jean Blanc, and others, primarily for his relationship with Tia.
  • David — apologizes for antagonizing Jordan. Whatever.
  • Dude from Night One — I think this one was a garden-variety Chris or something, but regardless he hops off his high horse and physically confronts Jordan like they’re on Jerry Springer. No one gets hit. I am disappointed.
Leslie Knope for everything.

“I’m going to steal this line from Oprah — love is love is love. And it doesn’t matter to me if you are gay, straight, lesbian, bi, transgender, if you have a strong relationship. Everybody can take away competencies from that relationship and make it their own.”

That settles it. Jason has to be The Bachelor. I need more of that tolerant, progressive, hockey-loving man in my life.

God bless Daveed Diggs.

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Marissa Driscoll

Marissa Driscoll

Chicago comedian and pop-culture lover, especially The Bachelor. Pro-corgi. Anti-horse. On Twitter @marissasayswhat. To quote Jeb Bush, "Please clap."